On the bright side, I have all the time in the world to wedding plan.
On the bright side, I don't have to hide the fact that I am leaving the country in 116 days.
On the bright side, I have extremely loving and supportive parents who wont leave me stranded.
On the bright side, no more having to deal with a work computer that is stuck on an operating system from the past.
On the bright side, no more having to update the TJX Product Book!!!!!
On the bright side, I have the most loving, encouraging, supportive, God-fearing, romantic, perfect fiancé.
On the bright side, my friends are super encouraging as well!

I got laid off from my job last Wednesday. Friday was my last day. While it was shocking, now that I've had time to think about it, I can see how God is making the best out of this situation. I am referring to it as my premature unemployment. I was planning on quitting mid-March but God had a better idea in mind.

I'm learning to submit. Learning to be willing. Learning that I don't have it all figured out. Learning that God is above me. Learning that His ways are higher than mine. Learning that when I'm on His team, even what seems bad is actually good. He has only my best interest in mind.

Lately, God has been revealing His goodness to me in innumerable ways!

I'm recognizing more and more how good He ALWAYS is in spite of my flaws, failures, and weaknesses, and in spite of my lousy faith.

Craig and I have been stressing over money lately. Don't worry, we take turns stressing, so we aren't that much of a mess! Haha! One of my biggest sources of money-related stress has been regarding my wedding dress hunt. I had this idea in my head that I couldn't find a dress for less than $1500. I had done my share of researching and all the ones I liked were around that price. I would pray that God would bring an amazing deal right to me, but every time I did "worried math" in my head, I'd always do it as if I were paying for a $1500. So much for trusting God to bring me a good deal!

This past Thursday, I bought my dress! And not only was it the perfect dress, it was a small fraction of the price I was imagining! God provided even though I was praying faithlessly!

This has happened multiple times in our wedding planning process. Hopefully my faith grows a little!

I've had to do it before—put myself on folk fasts and chick flick fasts so I wouldn't be THAT girl. You know, the girl who is always moping about being single, moping that everyone has a boyfriend but her, moping that she's a jerk magnet.

Fast forward a few years. The fast might have to be to reinstated but for different reasons. This time, the cause is a Christian romance novel. It's doing weird things to my head. Making me THAT other girl. You know, the one who's irritatingly attached to her boyfriend, the one who's obsessively dreaming up ridiculous scenarios, the one who blabs nonsense on the phone so she doesn't have to hang up.

Lord help me please.

Well, that was depressing.

My credit card statement came out of my bank today. And it included my plane ticket to England. Anddddd, I just paid off my speeding ticket.

Goodbye money. It was nice knowing you.

I realize I haven't blogged in a while and this may not have been the best way to make my return, but I just had to get that off my chest. Hopefully I'll be blogging more often in the near future. Until then, stay classy San Diego.

I went into my England meeting today confident that I'd come out with an answer in the form of a plan. But of course, God doesn't work my way. I left my meeting not only without a plan, but with more questions. Funny how God does that. I'm learning to rely on Him with the thing that's hardest for me to let go of: my planning. I'm an OCD planner by nature, so this definitely isn't easy. The more He teaches me this though, the more I see that His plan truly is the best in His timing and His way. 

I have a love/hate relationship with the United States Postal Service.

Yesterday, I came home to find that they had returned the Valentine's Day card I mailed out. Uhhh, Post Office, it should be in England by now. Valentine's Day is tomorrow. It was returned to me because it required extra postage. Why, might you ask? Well, it had a lollipop in it.

"A letter will be charged nonmachinable surcharge if...it is lumpy." Straight from usps.gov. Lumpy. Such a strange word to use on a government website.

So there you have it folks. Don't ever try to send a lumpy lollipop inside a regular letter. A lumpy lollipop is actually a parcel.

I've always loved old hymns. Something about them is just so powerful. I think it comes from the fact that the words just flowed out. People weren't trying to write songs. These hymns were just natural expressions of the faith of these old saints.

This past week, the David Crowder Band released their final album. I couldn't have been any happier to discover that one of my all-time favorite hymns was on there.

When I was about sixteen years old, I gave God my personal timeline. I had my future completely planned out. I knew what was going to happen and when. My six year plan was infallible. Or so I thought.

I turned eighteen and noticed my prior plans weren't happening. God, where are you? Are you trying to teach me a lesson in patience? Twenty comes around. Another proposed milestone. Nothing. God, why are you silent? At this point, I was beginning to panic. I didn't understand what God was doing. My plan included Him so why wasn't He going along with it?

Looking back, I can see how much I've grown those seven years of my life. God was indeed teaching me a lesson in patience, but more importantly, He was teaching me a lesson in trust. Trusting that His ways are higher than my ways. Trusting that He would guide me as long as I remain on the right path. Trusting that His timing is MUCH better than my timing.

My six year plan has nearly been accomplished in one short month. I'm excited watching what God is doing in my life and hopeful for what He will continue to do. I am blessed beyond words.

It's my first blog of the new year, and I decided to begin with a bit of honesty.

I struggle with the idea of reading books I don't agree with.

Last year, I started reading two books simultaneously that I don't agree with. I didn't finish either of them. I want to finish them this year. They are popular books written by a popular author. But it's just so hard for me. I picked one back up today, read about ten pages, and then felt like I was wasting my time.

What do you think? Do you think I'm wasting my time? Or do you think it'll only make me stronger?