"My Desire" by Jeremy Camp

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
You want to be someone laying down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it all down before the king

You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind

You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the king

This is my desire, this is my return
This is my desire to be used by you

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside
And I know my heart is to feel you near
And I know my life
It's to do your will
It's to do your will

All my life I have seen
Where you've take me
Beyond all I have hoped
And there's more left unseen

There's not much I can do to repay all you've done
So I give my hands to use




So...I didn't get the graphics and media internship position I applied for. I was bummed at first, but I'm totally good now. I learned a lot just from the comments I have been getting from people. Those comforts to rejection are actually quite inspirational. Haha.

I know God has a plan for me. Apparently, this job which I grew somewhat emotionally attached to during my "waiting to know if I got it process" wasn't in God's plan. I donno what God's plan is for me for this coming year is, but what I do know is that I don't want anything to stand in the way of what it is. Not even the "perfect job." My desire is to be used by God, in whatever way it is He wants to use me. I've learned that my specific desires aren't always how God wants to use me. But I've also learned that He'll open the doors to those desires if it's His will.

Well, I have another desire. Actually, I've had this desire for several years now, but the doors haven't opened. I want to go to England on the Creationfest mission trip. I donno yet, but I think my door is opening. And this open door has come because of my closed internship door. Haha. God is so cool. He works in creative ways. Since I don't have to be at school early since I didn't get the job, I might be able to go to England. And when I brought it up to my parents, they actually seemed pretty open to the idea. Then, on top of that, fafsa is weird and gives you less money when you have money in your savings so my parents think the "best thing" to do is to not have money in savings. Perfect solution = spend it on a missions trip! :] God is so good! So, I don't know if I am going yet, but it seems like a definite possibility! I'm still praying!