There's a part in the movie "Sydney White" where the sorority girls are being quizzed. Sydney gets asked the sorority colors and when she answers "green and white," the sorority president answers, "Wrong. Emerald and pearl." Her immediate response is, "I'm sorry, I don't know how to speak priss."

This was almost how I felt at Urban Outfitters last week. I wanted a pair of their red mary janes, but they seemed to have every color but red at the store. My option was to order online—but at the store, so I could get the shipping fee waived. They were priced 2 for $20 so I also chose the navy blue one. Simple enough, right? Red and navy blue. But when I heard the guy on the phone ordering them, he ordered "berry and sapphire." Seriously?! As if that isn't bad enough, when they came in the mail later that week, the order slip said "bright red and cobalt."

Now this brings up a question that I've had for some time....What is the job title for color namers? I'd like to be one. I'll learn how to speak priss, get that job, and live a nice, comfortable life.