Well, well, well! Is God teaching me patience and trust and thankfulness or what?!
Last week, when my 20 week ultrasound was postponed from Friday to this Tuesday, we were definitely disappointed. It ruined our plans. We had planned to have a gender reveal party on Sunday but that couldn't happen if we weren't going to know the gender of our baby til Tuesday. After a bit of wrestling with the Lord, I felt a peace about it. I knew that God was in control.
Fast-forward to Tuesday (yesterday). Craig and I went in for my appointment. When we first walked into the room, we told the sonographer that we didn't want her to tell us the gender of the baby but we wanted her to write it down instead. She responded letting us know that that wouldn't be an issue because she has to write it down in the notes anyway. She proceeds with the scan checking all the important things on the baby. Everything that she saw was normal and healthy, but the baby wasn't being ultra cooperative so she couldn't see the its lips and cerebellum. Because of that, she said that they'd have to reschedule me to come in again for another scan. I think that it was probably at that point where she flipped on her grouchy switch. We reminded her that we wanted her to write down the gender of our baby but then she freaked out and said that it wasn't a 100% and she couldn't write it down for us. My frustration level started rising because we had already postponed our gender reveal party once before and I didn't want to have to postpone it again. But she just wouldn't budge. She said she'd have to ask her supervisor so she escorted us out of the room, completely forgetting to even ask us which pictures we wanted. We sat out in the waiting room for a few minutes before her supervisor came to inform us that it was against hospital policy to tell the gender of the baby seeing as it is just a guess anyway. My frustration was at the max now. I just couldn't understand the fact that they wouldn't tell us.
Later that day, I did some research and discovered that this is a common NHS practice. Some hospitals have a policy where they don't tell the gender of the baby. I guess that's why the sonographer freaked out about writing it down. Writing it down would make it more definitive that just casually saying it.
I am hoping and praying that in two weeks when I go in again, I get a different sonographer, someone who is more laid back than this woman and that they are willing to flex with this policy and let me know. Even if it comes down to Craig and I finding out on the spot and not being able to have a gender reveal party. Not for planning or preparation purposes—we are doing everything gender neutral anyway—but for peace of mind. I have never been a fan of surprises. And I don't want to wish my pregnancy away by being so anxious for the arrival of my baby so I can know if it's a girl or a boy. I want to really enjoy the second half of my pregnancy and cherish it.
At this point, I don't know what God is doing. I don't know what He's trying to teach me and I don't know why He's causing all these plans to not work out. I trust that He IS teaching me something though. Even yesterday, Craig pointed out that in the midst of our frustration over not finding out the gender of our baby, we had failed to even thank God for the fact that our baby is alive and healthy. We allowed a little thing to steal our joy when we really should have been soooo extremely thankful that God has already answered one of our biggest prayers by keeping our baby healthy. Right then, we stopped our little pity party and thanked the Lord for His goodness towards us.
And that brings me to a place of even more thankfulness—thankfulness over having a husband that turns me to Jesus when I am frustrated, thankfulness over having a husband who recognizes that God is constantly showering us with blessings. I've heard it said before, "When you feel angry, just start thanking God and watch your anger fade away." This couldn't be more true.
Who am I to make a fuss over something so minor as a canceled gender reveal party?!
Thank You, Lord, for being so good to me. Thank You for giving me a husband that loves You. And thank You for giving us a baby. Thank You for keeping our baby alive and healthy. Thank You, in advance, for the lessons learned in [small] trials like this. And thank You for caring enough about us to even want to teach us useful lessons.
